There was a time (in the not so distant past) when I thought that having a husband/partner/mate would not only increase my overall happiness quotient, but also make life more cost effective. After all, everything would be shared between the two of us -- the good, the bad and the bills: mortgage, check; monthly dinners out, check; income taxes, double CHECK! Sounds like a promising proposition...where do I sign up?
Of course, my error lies in the assumption that my potential husband/partner/mate would be in the same (if not higher) income bracket as I am. Not that I earn a significant amount of money...I think this applies to whatever bracket you're in.
But what if he made less...significantly less? From a PURELY FINANCIAL perspective this would, no doubt, cause a few awkward moments, stomach churning anxiety (mostly mine) and eventually, feelings of resentment (his? mine?). Fast forward a few years and we're in separate rooms, cataloging assets (mostly mine) for the divorce lawyers. Not to mention bickering over child support and alimony (though perhaps not as acrimonious as that famous couple in NJ).
So should I even bother? Perhaps being single is indeed the more frugal long-term option.
is being single & staying single less expensive...in the long run?
June 10th, 2008 at 07:40 pm
June 10th, 2008 at 08:18 pm 1213125504
Putting aside all the warm, fuzzy benefits to marriage, the cold hard facts are that I would likely be far better off financially if I had remained single and childless. Not to say that I would trade the life that I've got, but having a spouse and family is more expensive than living alone.
Obviously, the decision to get married and have a family involves a whole lot more than a look at the balance sheet. It isn't about money.
June 10th, 2008 at 08:26 pm 1213125983
One of the best pieces of advice that I've heard is examine a potential spouse's calendar and checkbook. Where they spend their time and money will tell you way more about them than a few dates. If the calendar/checkbook don't match what the person says about themselves, walk away.
June 10th, 2008 at 08:42 pm 1213126965
June 10th, 2008 at 09:16 pm 1213128960
But my marriage is very much a partnership. My spouse hasn't made an income in about 6 years. So what? HE runs my errands and cooks my meals and shops sales and clips coupons so I Can keep more of my money.
Likewise, I am with Steve on the kid thing. The reason my spouse has not worked in 6 years is because we had kids. BUT you don't know how excited I am by the prospect of him bringing home $10k/year in the near future (or about 15% of my income). Who cares. Money is money. Who couldn't use an extra $10k/year?
No ackward moments or resentment here. There's so much more to a person than how much money they make. Likewise, there is no way I Would be where I Was in my career without the support of my husband. (Not as a mother anyway). So there is a lot more to a marriage partnership than money.
I personally find life far simpler with a spouse. Less work, more money to go around. IT would be really hard to get to where I Was today by my own means. Children or not. Our expenses are not twice as much just because there are 2 of us. But it is rather easy to make twice as much. The unemployment of one doesn't affect the household if the other is working, etc.
June 10th, 2008 at 09:19 pm 1213129149
But my marriage is very much a partnership. My spouse hasn't made an income in about 6 years. So what? HE runs my errands and cooks my meals and shops sales and clips coupons so I Can keep more of my money.
Likewise, I am with Steve on the kid thing. The reason my spouse has not worked in 6 years is because we had kids. BUT you don't know how excited I am by the prospect of him bringing home $10k/year in the near future (or about 15% of my income). Who cares. Money is money. Who couldn't use an extra $10k/year?
No ackward moments or resentment here. There's so much more to a person than how much money they make. Likewise, there is no way I Would be where I Was in my career without the support of my husband. (Not as a mother anyway). So there is a lot more to a marriage partnership than money.
I personally find life far simpler with a spouse. Less work, more money to go around. IT would be really hard to get to where I Was today by my own means. Children or not. Our expenses are not twice as much just because there are 2 of us. But it is rather easy to make twice as much. The unemployment of one doesn't affect the household if the other is working, etc.
June 10th, 2008 at 09:19 pm 1213129168
oops
June 10th, 2008 at 10:22 pm 1213132954
Course, he wouldn't be half as active or eating nearly as healthy on his own so I am not even sure that is true since your health is a very precious resource. Preventive care even is something I have had to encourage him to use.
June 10th, 2008 at 11:15 pm 1213136109
June 11th, 2008 at 12:05 am 1213139150
Thank you everyone for your comments. You have given me some food for thought. I do realize that there are many benefits to having a partner and it is not something that could be boiled down to dollars and cents. I was just wondering, theoretically, if it would be less expensive. I read somewhere that about 50% of US households are made up of singles. Curious what impact that would have on personal (spending/saving) habits and on the economy in general.
June 11th, 2008 at 03:24 am 1213151070
June 11th, 2008 at 05:56 am 1213160190
June 11th, 2008 at 02:55 pm 1213192545